From the Couch

A statement said to me by a co-worker this morning pretty much sums up my sentiments of the past week: "We aren't allowing you to go away any more. Every time you do, you come back sick."

I've been wishing since Wednesday that I hadn't placed myself in the way of whatever flu germs found its way to me while in Georgia. Maybe it was the four flights it took for me to get south and get back (you know that airlines these days are full of sickness). Maybe it was the crowd of over 500 that I interacted with at the Emerging Christianity Conference (mostly people mostly over 55). Maybe it was just because I played with luck this year by not getting the flu shot. But, whatever it was, my first words to Kevin when he picked me up on Wednesday night were: "Please take me home and let me sleep."

And, on the couch I've been ever since. I did make one stirring on Friday to the doctor's office to find out that I indeed had the flu. (Sadly, my visit was a day past the cut off for the "get over the flu faster" pills. I guess I'll just have to fight this one off the hard way). And I made another stirring this morning to go to church. Trying not to get my church members sick and not to over due things myself, I only went for morning worship, not my normal early morning unlock duty and Sunday School. And, afterwards, I came back to the couch.

As much as I still don't feel great, I have to say that I'm bored of being home. Really there is only so much interesting tv on these days (thank you, writer's strike). And, I can only find myself reading for so long without sleeping. My husband has been great about taking care of me, but he's had work and other responsibilities to take care of as well which has left me at home alone a lot.

But, all in all, I am glad I attended the conference entitled January Adventure. First, it allowed me the opportunity to see my dear friends Jenn and Clark last Sunday night. Jenn and I were in the same class in seminary and now only get to spend quality time together when we attend conferences in the same area. I had a great time reconnecting with her and meeting their hyper dog, Auburn.

Second, I got to hear my preaching hero speak: Barbara Brown Taylor not once but four times! Barbara has such a way with words and story-telling. She makes me want to be a better preacher and writer. If I were back in junior high and put posters on the wall of my favorite people, then I would have one of her on my wall (Ok, I know, I'm a religious dork). Plus, I got to hear her lectures based on her newest yet unpublished book about practices of Christian living.

Third, while at the conference, I had the opportunity to spend time with a new friend of mine, Elizabeth who I met almost a year ago at another conference. Her family graciously allowed me to spend a night with them too. I was encouraged by their hospitality and the joy of being around another young Baptist clergy.

Yet, I wish I didn't have to pay the price of spending some much time at the house as a result. I'm going to be really nice to some of our homebound parishioners when I get better! Being on the couch really isn't as exciting as it sounds.

When You Are the First

This past weekend, Kevin and I traveled to his home in Georgia for the weekend. Because I was to attend a conference in St. Simon’s Island during the beginning of this week (I’ll write more about this later), it seemed like a perfect opportunity for us to spend some quality time with his family and for me to keep a promise I made long ago to Kevin’s family. I said one day I would happily accept the invitation to preach at their church.

It is important to note here that Kevin’s home church never had hosted a woman preacher before. Not because I think any of them don’t like women or not even because they are people who are Biblical literalists who feel men are above women spiritually, but for the sheer reason they they’d never had the opportunity to know a woman in the pastorate. The presence of someone like me in their pulpit just wasn’t ever a possibility until me and my group of preacher friends became a part of their lives.

So enter Elizabeth into the pulpit: I was prepared, ready and couldn’t wait bring the word to the best of my ability. I crafted the sermon in such a way that I thought they would identify with, especially picking just the right words and illustrations. I thought through what might be ever possible scenario of what might occur. But I had forgotten to consider how a female presence would affect them personally.

So when I got through the first paragraph, I knew I was in trouble. Speaking to twice the size congregation than is usually present on Sundays (which was around 80 people), I felt like I was an exotic animal exhibit in a zoo. I was the newest rare bird that had been brought into the scene and they didn’t know what else to do but to keep looking at me with a deep stare. And they kept starring at me throughout the sermon. I was anxious to say “Amen” and be through with the message as soon as I could. I was ready to go back to the normalcy of being the pulpit with my own congregation.

Yet, I can remember the day I first heard a woman in the pulpit. I was sitting in my college’s Tuesday night campus worship service as a senior. Our female campus minister was slated to speak that evening and for the next two weeks.

It was nothing unusual for me to hear a woman speak. Heck, I had “spoken” myself many time growing up in my small Southern Baptist Church. Youth Day and Mission Sunday presentations were my specialty in fact. I was often the first one to volunteer to talk. However, I never considered what I was doing preaching even though many had told me that I had a gift and should be given the pulpit more often even at 15, 16 and 18 years old.

But, when I heard April speak that spring evening, I knew she had crossed the line of what could be neatly filed into the “teaching” category. She was preaching and it bothered me a little. Not because I didn’t enjoy hearing what she had to say. Not because I didn’t respect her as a person or welcome her shepherding voice on our campus, but because she was a woman.

I’d never seen a woman talk so powerfully before about scripture. I’d never seen a woman demand such authority from the pulpit. I’d never seen a woman deliver the gospel in words with such confidence.

Thank goodness her preaching series was three weeks. I needed that time to grow more comfortable to what I was seeing and hearing. I needed to process this huge change into my heart. And, I probably starred at her a little too.

Remembering my own “first” experience was a comfort to me as I further reflected on my preaching last Sunday. As much as this congregation loves my family and as a result loves me, they needed the same space I required to take hold of this new paradigm I embodied on Sunday called a woman in ministry. In due time, I hope that they will come to see the commonplace nature of what it means to proclaim the goodness of God, no matter what you look like.

I smile to think that I in some way aided this small, but faithful gathering of God’s people to take a greater leap into acceptance. I have high hopes for their future and for my sisters in ministry who come behind me.

Musings of a Newlywed

The question everyone seems to be asking us these days is: how is married life going?

I have to answer this by saying that it is suiting me well. In a week or so, we'll be married for three months. I'm learning more about this new phase of my life each day. I thought I'd share with you just a few of the things I've been realizing recently:

• If you can make it through the wedding planning and event itself, the day to day life of marriage seems easy.
• Even if it seems crazy, buying two different kinds of milk is worth it if means an argument is avoided.
  
• Even if your spouse doesn't do the house chores you would hope he would while you're gone for the weekend, thank him for the ones he does anyway.
• If I do my spouse's the laundry, I will have a happy husband. If I get breakfast in bed especially on Sundays, my husband will have a happy wife.
  
• Combining two households into one is no easy chore. It takes weeks, no months, or maybe even a year. Patience is essential.
  
• Not sharing bathrooms= a good idea.
  
• Writing thank-you notes never seems to end. Maybe I'll feel "really" married when I finally finish them.
  
• Still planning interesting weekend or nightly activities is important with all the wedding events behind us. We're already excited about our weekend in NYC in February!
  

The Preacher's Dilemma

One of my New Year's Resolutions was to be a more prophetic preacher-- being the person who is less afraid to take risks, being the person who is able to stand and proclaim whatever I hear in the text during the week, even if I know it is not what the people want to hear.

Prophetic preaching is all the buzz in seminaries these days. There are courses taught on this kind of preaching in particular. Many scholars even decide to do their thesis on what it means to be prophetic. Among pastor types, there is much esteem granted to those who preach in this way. Martin Luther King, Jr. during the Civil Rights Movement in America, Bishop Peter Storey or Desmund Tutu in South Africa during apartheid, to name a few of the great. I sat in a theology class taught by Peter Storey in seminary and got goosebumps every time I heard him describe his tough experiences in preaching filled with truthful courage to simply say what was in his heart.

"I want to be like that," I told myself.

Yet, when it is you in the role of pastor/ preacher to a particular congregation, the picture looks a lot more cloudy.

You know the congregation better than any outside voice does. You know what topics make them uncomfortable. You know how far they like to be pushed. You know their history with past preachers who have challenged them too far so that they stop listening.

So, you ponder how much of preaching is pastoral care-- giving the congregation bits of gospel they can accept, even if the whole message is not there. You know that your career is not based on one sermon.

"They'll be more opportunities to preach like that" many say.

And, still the call of the gospel in a particular text is still there. It rings loud. As you continue to sit with the text, you realize you don't see the gospel as a tame flame, but as a fire. The gospel is all together different than you ever imagined it to be. It keeps you up late at night because you know what you must say. And you know that stones could be thrown at you for saying it.

How I'll preach this week exactly remains to be seen. I pray for discernment and confidence to rise to the challenge.

Cheers to the New Year!

Wishing you and your family health and happiness in the New Year! May 2008 be a great year for you-