What a Year!

I'm being sort of reflective today with it being the first of my 27th year. When I step back to think of it so much of my life has changed in the last 12 months. I went from being a Duke grad school trying to find a way to keep studying until graduation, living with two great roommates and future pastors, and being a lowly intern at a rural church who also happened to have a boyfriend TO life as associate pastor Elizabeth at a church of 350 or so in membership, in a 3 bedroom house all to myself with a fiancee named Kevin. Wow!

So, do I think I'm any wiser?
I don't know if I myself can be the judge of that. But, if lessons in patience produce wisdom then I must have some for this past summer of waiting for a job and ordination were rough. I made it through, though! The trials of it all showed me I am tougher than I originally might have believed myself to be.

Do I think I'm any taller?
God, I hope not. Five foot nine is just enough height for me.

Do I think I've learned anything?
Of course. Although most of what I've learned in the past year probably would land in the category of random and useless facts like how finally to spell San Antonio since I visited there last August.

Do I think I've left the planet any better than I've found it this year?
God only knows, but I hope so. I've joked around with my seminary friends a couple of times about what I want to be on my tombstone one day: "She shared her narrative with us" has sort of been my go back to phrase. (Although you may not get this reference if you don't listen to the music of Sara Groves). I hope that with the life I've been given, I've loved much and well. Of course I know I've disappointed many, messed up a lot as is part of my human nature, but through it all I hope through the grace of others and God it ALL has been made well.

Thanks to all of you who make life in my 27th year such a happy place to be!

Another First

Imagine the scene. . . I walk into a Sporting Goods store looking for the fishing section. The clerk comes up to me to ask what I am interested in buying. I say waders. "Really, waders?" He asks. "What for?" To which I reply: "I'm a Baptist minister who needs them for a baptism . . ." Imagine the look on his unsuspecting guy's face. Priceless. He didn't know how to respond what so ever.

I'm happy to report I picked out the cutest waders there. They look like overalls that I wore in high school, dark green with a pocket in the front just perfect for the wireless mic I would need to have on my person during the ceremony.

This Sunday the waiters got their first official use. The senior pastor, Charlie was out of town so he gave me the responsibility of doing the baptism for a new member of our congregation, a very tall young man originally from Chad, AFRICA (how wonderful was that?). I was a bit overwhelmed when Charlie first asked me to do this. My mind suddenly went back to the days of playing preacher (ok, so don't laugh here when your dad is a minister what else do you know to do?) in the pool with my friends "baptizing" them (or trying to see how only they could stay under water was more like it). I wished I paid more attention to those days so I wouldn't be so freaked out to the idea. I attended a Methodist seminary so I got no practice there. While my Baptist theology class took a field trip to practice one afternoon, for some reason I skipped and was paying the price for this when my first assignment came along
So, I knew I needed practice. Along came Jeff, a friend of Kevin's volunteered. We met on Saturday morning to practice. Jeff is a devoted Catholic who was sprinkled as a child, so when we walked into the sanctuary and he saw the baptismal full of water, his first reaction was "Wow, this is like a church with Sea World in it!" (He was surprised there were no dolphins flying out when we got closer). Kevin, became the photographer and videographer as well. My first attempts were bad, I must admit. It was quite hard both getting Jeff all the way down as well as getting him back up too. It was difficult taking the whole practice experience seriously especially as I for some reason couldn't say Jeff's middle name correctly (he had to re-pronounce it for me several times). But, thanks to Jeff, footage of the experience is now on You Tube if you would like to see some of my practice runs yourself.

When it came to the big day, I think I held it together as best I could. Might you, my first experience in the baptismal pool came a very short 8 minutes after I just gave the sermon. It was the mad dash of my life to get to the changing rooms, put the waiters and the robe on and still have some measure of composure before heading into the pool. But, I didn't drown Valery and I got him completely under and back up. I remembered the order of the liturgy I was to say. I count this first experience as a success, especially because I got through it.

Baptists are strange at times, but I guess I'll continue on in the tradition with my new waders to keep me dry.

Missing My Valentines

As the story goes yesterday, four years ago I met two amazing life long ministry friends. We were all visiting Duke Divinity School on the same day to discern whether

Duke would be the place where we would begin our seminary career. It was Valentine's Day and not exactly the ideal activity for this kind of day, but we were there nonetheless. Donna, the admissions director, made all of the prospective students that day cookies on stick in the shape of a heart. It was something none of us had ever seen before and were fascinated by it.

Then several weeks later, all three of us, Jenn, Abby and myself all were accepted and enrolled in the Divinity School. During August orientation, I met up with these girls again (Abby and Jenn had already become roommates) and remembered meeting each other on Valentine's Day. We were fast friends! When February 14th came around that first year, we knew we needed to remember the love of meeting each other. So, the tradition of cookies on a stick was born. And for the next two years, we got together on Valentine's Day to make and decorate our cookies (sugar of course because Abby doesn't like chocolate). See some pictures to the right. [The second picture includes Clark, Jenn's now husband who also visited Duke that first day with Jenn when they were just dating. What we remember about Clark is that he fell asleep during several of the presentations. Memorable for sure!]

You can imagine my sadness this year not having Jenn, Abby and even Clark around to celebrate Vday with. I miss them a lot! But, thanks to the US Postal Service, cookies on a stick could still be delivered if only by mail. What a happy thought indeed!

Doing Some Following

Who would of ever thought a "in charge" type like myself would have a hard time taking the lead from someone else??

Well this has been particularly true as Kevin and I have started a new venture together called Social Ballroom Dance lessons. Before I knew anything of the impending engagement, I gave him five weeks of dance lessons for Christmas. I thought it would be a fun activity for us to do together. Little did I know that this dancing with a partner as a woman meant that I got to take the cues from Kevin. Even though I've had my share of individual dance lessons through the years, I've found orienting yourself to a partner is a whole new experience. Kevin doesn't always move when I think he should. Sometimes I want to try new steps when he's comfortable doing the old ones. Other times, he's moving like a pro when I can't get my act together to stay with him.

But, all in all, we've really enjoyed ourselves. And, I've learned that with following depending on Kevin to take the lead is better than I would have thought. Maybe these are early lessons for marriage . . .

Gotta Have Solitude

In a recent post, called Reflections from Bedside, I commented on what it was like for me to be forced into solitude because I was sick for three days. In relation to this topic, I began thinking today again about the benefits of solitude and how I am so bad at it.

Next week, I'm beginning a book club with my friend Jeff on Henri Nouwen's The Only Necessary Thing: Living a Prayerful Life as a way both to get to know my fiance's best friend and to be held accountable to do more religious reading (I have to say I'm in love with my DVR box on Direct TV... it is so wonderful to go home from work and not have to study anymore unless I want to!). Thus far, I'm really enjoying this book. I would recommend it to those of you who are looking for a collection of thoughts/ quotes on prayer-- for it has got tons of them.

Part of learning to pray is learning to be alone. How easy it is for me and I know many of us to get so busy doing things that we forget the value of allowing quiet spaces to take hold in our lives! Often times I don't get quiet until the circumstances of my life force me too-- I get snowed in alone, a friend cancels our dinner plans, or I'm sick of course. But then when I do, I realize how good it is again to be alone, figuring out my life with a fresh perspective. And, I wish for more regular times like this during my week.

Into my struggle to find real solitude in my life, I read this today:

Listen to what Henri says: "Life without a lonely place, that is, a life without a quiet center, easily becomes destructive. . . . In solitude we can slowly unmask the illusion of our possessiveness and discover in the center of our own self that we are not what we conquer, but what is given to us. In solitude we discover that our life is not a possession to be defended, but a gift to be shared" (42-43).

Maybe the snow storm on its way to DC will force me into some more solitude tonight... who knows?