Encounter

I have no idea why I began to think a lot about this topic recently. Maybe because all I seem to do recently is meet new people. And as soon as I meet a new person as of late, the time I spend with them is over.

You know how it is… you go to dinner with a group of people coming because you were invited by one member of the group yet knowing no one else. Over the course of the meal you make small talk with people you are seated around. You find that with some conversation comes easier than with others. And if you hit the jackpot that night you find one person at the table that you really seem to connect with. Unstoppable conversation occurs. You envision this being the type of person you would call up on a random Saturday afternoon just to bum around Target with. Or, even better… could this be your long lost best friend? If only there was more time to find out. Because in fact, he or she is from Settle just visiting for the weekend. You will probably never see them again or the other six random folks at the table (who are actually from your same city). This was just a random moment in time for your path and theirs to cross… it was just one encounter. (And in keeping with the theme of this blog, I have no idea who is pictured to the right).

So if you are like me and loyalty and sustaining relationships are important to you, it would seem the whole idea of pouring yourself into one-time encounters would be no fun. Because it just seems like a lot of work to go to meet a total stranger and find some way to connect with them only to never see them again after an hour or less of conversation. What’s the point after all? Wouldn’t it just be better to stick with the one friend you came with who you know you’ll speak to tomorrow? Why be nice to strangers?

While it might be safer to not expend social energy on those in whom your interaction will seemingly not reap any “payback” in the future—there is just something missing from this picture. I think that if we don’t embrace the possibilities of an encounter, we miss out on an opportunity to truly be human. Isn’t there inherent goodness imbedded in the act of kindness to strangers?

This causes me to stop and think of times when I was welcomed by strangers who had no reason to be nice to me. Random friends of friends I have spent the night with when I needed somewhere to stay while traveling through their town. People that have given me directions when I have been desperately lost on my way to somewhere (happens frequently I might add). Or, a hospitable spirit at a party who introduces me to others people when I seemingly know no one in the room. These are all times when random encounters of people saved me from much social and emotional trauma.

So maybe while I’m sad sometimes that not every awesome person I meet gets to stay in my life forever, I am trying now to be grateful for the gift of encounter. One time only encounters help me understand the world from a perspective other than my own. They teach me to recognize the goodness of humanity that is so easily ignored when we define strangers by stereotypes. And, I am reminded that our human story is not always about relationships which follow us for 10 or 20 years. Sometimes people are brought into our life for a season of an hour or two or maybe even just a summer. When it is time for them to leave, it is good to say goodbye, goodnight, yet at the same time able to cherish the beauty in the encounter. Our lives are filled with such wonder day in and day out if we are willing to embrace it.

You Might Grow-Up to Be a Minister

To celebrate graduation from seminary last week, a group of seven of my div school friends went to the beach. We laughed a lot, ate a lot, watched girly tv, braved the cold wind on beach and had some really interesting conversations. Even though we all just met one another in seminary, in many ways it feels like we had known each other for years as we lived parallel lives in different parts of the country. While our growing up stories all have their unique twists and turns, we learned in new examples of how all of us were secretly “religious dorks” as teens. We composed the following list together over the course of the week entitled: Top Ten Signs That You’re Gonna Grow-Up to Be a Minister.

10. You enjoy sitting with the chaperons on youth trips more than your peers.

9. You preach your first sermon during Youth Sunday in 7th Grade.

8. You sit your youth minister down in high school, telling him to grow up and act more like a pastor.

7. You hang a “Reserved For Clergy” sign above your bed in college.

6. You take home the inactive membership files in 9th grade so to write cards to those who haven’t attended church in a while.

5. You share a spontaneous testimony at Annual Conference before your youth choir sings that “You don’t know what you’ll be doing in 10 years, but God surely does.”

4. You wake up at 6 am because you feel having just one “Quiet Time” a day is not enough.

3. You hang an “Unreached People Group” poster above your bed and pray regularly for missionaries on their birthdays.

2. You make signs in your room of Bible verses you’ve memorized and spiritual disciplines you are trying to exhibit.

1. You give your middle school boyfriend your prayer journal so that he can understand your spiritual side.

Maybe we should make t-shirts… what do you think?

The Long Awaited Day Came!

The word on the street is that I graduated from Duke Divintiy School yesterday. (I guess I have to change the name of my blog soon). Here are some photo highlights...

Kevin, E and Emily

I'm about to walk into Duke Chapel to be hooded.

Small group love on the lawn.

The Fam after the cermony

Mystery

If you are attentive, some of the most profound insights come when you least expect them.

This week I was having a catch up conversation with my friend Rachel. As we filling each other in about the latest events in each of our lives, God bless Rachel for listening to me rant for a while about how out of control I feel at this juncture in my life. I detailed to her how lately it seems that the more I try to plan, the more non-planned my life becomes. A one week trip I had planned was canceled last week and it crushed me to tears. It was the last straw that put me over the edge. What is wrong with me?.

I am the girl who had a life plan when she was fifteen. And while life has taken drastic turns that I least expected (me, seminary? me, a pastor?, etc), in many ways I have often found a way to keep the chaos to a bear minimum. It always helps to have a goal, to have something to be striving toward, to have your next steps in motion even before you need to. Every summer since I was 17, I’ve found something new and exciting to do. Things like summer ministry in Charleston, or a tour of Burma or most recently pastoral internship in Washington, D.C. These were all things that I pursued with passion and knew in my heart that they would work out even before those who supervised these experiences officially accepted me. I thought that when I got to the end of my seminary experience, things would happen in a similar fashion. But, much to my surprise they haven’t. I’ll be graduating on May 13 having no idea what state I’ll be living in after July or what job I’ll have. Yet, I know that these facts aren’t the worst thing in the world. But to a plan freak like me, the situation feels much harder to take in than maybe some of you.

This is when my friend Rachel interjected into the conversation saying, “You know, Elizabeth, life is much simpler than you think. I’m like you; often times the more I try to figure out why certain things have happened in my life, the more confused I am.” She continued: “This is what God is like: a mystery. We can’t expect to know the answers about a lot of things.” Of course I wanted to protest and cut her off at this point, but then . . .

What a thought: God as a mystery. Indeed, there is much that we can’t know and will never know about the world or our lives specifically. And because of this fact, all we can do sometimes is WAIT and watch for moments where the mysteries of life are revealed to us step by step.

The lectionary theme of this week has been particularly meaningful to me—it has been as if this season of my life fit into it perfectly. If you are a lectionary person, you will know that this week’s Gospel lesson came from John 10 where Jesus speaks of himself as the Good Shepherd. The whole Shepherd/ sheep concept is a nice Christian concept (I mean who didn’t enjoy coloring sheep in Sunday School as a child), but to believe all of it on the ground is much harder.

You mean to tell me that God thinks of me as a stupid sheep? A furry little animal that is constantly getting lost? Someone who can’t make decisions without much guidance? Yes, indeed God does. And, as humiliating as this metaphor is, it has actually been comforting to me this week. Really, the goal IS for me to be out of control… to be a little lost … to not be able to have direction on my own… and to depend on the greatest Mystery of all times to lead me to where I’m suppose to be.

And if all the good shepherd texts this week didn’t get these ideas through my head enough, then, there was the reading of Psalm 131. It is a great Psalm for any anxious heart. I don’t remember ever reading it before Monday. But as I kept reading it over and over again my favorite line was found in verse two: “I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.”

So, life as a mystery . . . God as a mystery… where I am going to live in August: a mystery. But, after all, I’m just a sheep anyway. Just trying to have fun in the pasture while in search of the mystery. . .

A Procrastinator’s Hobby

People watching... It is truly amazing what you can observe about a person as the sit and eat their lunch, or drink their coffee or just in how they carry themselves down the street. Are they anxious or sad? Do they like themselves or those with them? Are they shy or outgoing? Do they care about their appearance today or did they just throw something on?

But I have to admit that I most of the time I become so busy checking off “To Do List” tasks that I don’t truly take in the fullness of a people watching experience. Well, this was until the time for “serious” Greek study came to be the pressing thing on my calendar yesterday. If there is anything I’ve learned in Divinity School, it is that often studying can NOT be done at home. If I am at home and trying to read or write, there seems to be a million other things calling for my attention…. bills to be paid, laundry to do, dishes to put a way, just to name a few. This is especially the case if the studying task at hand is one that I don’t particularly enjoy. Of course, Greek made it into this category.

So, for the last two days, I have been taking myself on dates to local coffee shops and restaurants that encourage their patrons to sit and stay as long as they would like to. And, instead of finding distraction-less places to study, my thoughts have been consumed in people watching. Have you ever thought about how interesting the human race really is?

For example, last night at a local bookstore coffee shop, I observed the following:

A high school student being tutored by a SAT coach

An English woman in her mid-70s sipping tea and talking about the Cold War with young woman who was seemingly a history professor at a local college

Countless individuals with their heads in a book, seemingly having no idea that anyone else was in the room

A middle-aged mother and her middle-school aged daughter reading books side by side, talking between chomping on bits of a chocolate chip cookie.

A couple talking together, obviously on their first date, based on their body positions and the awkward factual expressions on both of their faces (I don’t think they’ll be going out again).

An older man speaking loudly on his cell phone in a language I didn’t recognize (why do some people not understand what “quiet please” signs mean?)

And, a father with two teenaged children, seemingly straight of the soccer field obtaining research materials for a school project. . .

The diversity of individuals I saw last night reminded me once again that I live in a world full of dramas that I could even imagine. As we all work to relate to one another, life truly is complicated.

I began thinking as a result about what a “coffee shop” culture America has become. Even if we are not coffee drinkers, the 20-30 somethings generation's favorite hang out place often centers on coffee. We go to coffee to read books alone. We go to coffee to meet new friends or catch up with old ones. We agree to “coffee” dates with people because somehow it seems less sketchy than meeting someone at a bar anymore. Coffee seems to find a way to slow many of us down from our crazy lives. Giving us the just the minutes to sit and exist either with another person or our own thoughts . . . what a rare gift!

So, even though I was quite distracted from studying last night, I am glad that coffee had the ability to broaden my horizon. I saw once again glimpses of the lives of such interesting people and stories that I would not have noticed otherwise.

In the end of my divinity school story, I just have to make a high enough grade to pass Greek and be done with this school thing finally. People watching probably was a better use of my time anyway... Remind me. I've always got some of this to do.

Soul Music

On Friday night, I had a great roommate night out to Chapel Hill doing one of our favorite things together: going to quality evangelical concerts. Ever since both of us learned that Steven Curtis Chapman, Michael W. Smith, Chris Rice and the likes were among our favorite tapes growing up, we have often looked for opportunities to attend quality concerts that even our more grown up musical tastes can appreciate. While we may slightly different opinons on some things. She likes Third Day which I can’t stand and I LOVE Sara Groves which makes her want to hurl, I am still very thankful to have a roommate who gives great recommendations for soul filling music.

While Andrew Peterson is currently on the list of artists which my friends have banned me from listening too (they say I cry too much and am too sappy if I stay in the reflective genre too long), I was glad to reacquaint myself with him on Friday. His music is well-written and thought provoking, often asking me to view God in ways I never had before. One song in particular struck a cord with me which I had never heard before. It is entitled: “Just As I Am.” While I’ve sang the traditional hymn thousands of times growing up in church, this song was in a genre of its own. Read some of the words:


What's that on the ground?
It's what's left of my heart
Somebody named Jesus Took up the pieces
And planted the shards

And they're coming up green
They're coming in bloom
I can hardly believe
This is all coming true

Just as I am and just as I was
Just as I will be He loves me, He does
He showed me the day that He shed His own blood
He loves me, oh, He loves me, He does

All of my life
I've held on to this fear
Its thistles and vines
Ensnare and entwine
What flowers appeared

It's the fear that I'll fall
One too many times
It's the fear that His love
Is no better than mine
(but He says that)

Just as I am and just as I was
Just as I will be He loves me,
He doesHe showed me the day
that He shed His own blood
He loves me, oh, He loves me,
He doesHe loves me, oh, He loves me, He does

The words are encouraging for me to read again today as my soul is weary. A church and people who I love are confused, hurting and are living in full measure of this world’s brokenness. I hate that the church has to fight sometimes like families do. I hate that communities that make promises to each other-- to love each other even when their diversity seeks to tear them a part-- fail to communicate. I hate that reconciliation is not as a nice word as it sounds-- it is in fact HARD work often filled with much sweat and tears. I hate that the self-centered vein runs through all of us so that often times we are so set on our expressing our own opinions that we can’t hear the feelings of others. I hate that faithful, non-status quo church is not as rosey as they make it sound in seminary classes. Kingdom moments are jewels to be treasured in any congregation because sometimes they are rare. My idealist self wishes this were not the case.

When I work with churches in the future, can’t I just work hard enough as a pastor to make good things happen? To make church the beautiful place that I know it can be?

Andrew Peterson reminds me yet again that I can’t.

So, for today, I’ll rest on the fact that the love of Christ is not dead in the world. God chooses to use even the most broken churches for God’s good. Giving up on reconciliation would deny this fact.

So, even during times when I think the ministry is just too hard. Why do I want to commit myself to this crazy profession anyway? Grace comes as I have songs to sing. Just as I am and just as I was. Just as I will be He loves me, He does.