No Ordinary Wedding

Have you ever been to a wedding where—

All the food was organically and home grown?

The entire neighborhood in which the community couples reside is invited to the wedding?

Where the bride is ready to give away her dress immediately following the wedding to someone in need?

Where the couple specifically requests no presents?

This weekend I did.

Sarah and Dan’s wedding was an event unlike anything I’ve ever seen for these and many other reasons. But, what did I expect? Because the days leading up to their marriage were far from ordinary either.

I first met Sarah as she and I were roommates for two years in seminary. Last year, Sarah felt a call to enter intentional Christian community called the Rutba House in Durham, NC. (The short version is: Rutba House is a place of hospitality to all, especially strangers who have no other place to go). Dan, who was also living in an intentional Christian community of his own in a nearby city, met Sarah while protesting human rights violations in Fort Benning, Georgia. They became fast friends through letter writing while Dan was in prison for his trespassing at this event (this was an intentional desicion he made as did Sarah to take a stand on this issue). They just began dating last September and were engaged by February. They moved fast toward marriage, but all the while beaming with a glow about them saying that God was calling them to be together. They will now reside as a couple at the Rutba House.

As part of living in these communities, Sarah and Dan both had already committed themselves to giving back to the world more than they consumed, daily prayer and shared meals with the community, and sensitivity and activism toward the needs of their local neighborhoods. Practically this means they often grow their own food, walk more than they drive their cars, and open themselves up to the possibility of helping others during their free time.

Their marriage ceremony reflected the same type of intentionally. The ceremony was full-out worship event, not just a glorification of the couple’s love. The service was full of liturgy they had written especially for the day. We sang hymns, prayed, heard a sermon and received communion. The entire wedding party sat down for most of the service until the wedding vows were said. Those present were asked to covenant to pray and support Sarah and Dan. The recessional did not begin until we sang a closing hymn.

As strange as it felt to be a part of such a countercultural event, beauty was present all around on Saturday afternoon. People across all socio-economic and racial lines were in a place of worship and celebration with one another. Children of all backgrounds were included in the service (including some of the neighborhood children I might add). And, the Spirit seemed to hover over the couple and those pledging to support their marriage. Many in the congregation were moved to tears, especially during communion and as Sarah and Dan said the vows each had written to each other (I’m not normally a fan of writing one’s own vows but theirs were articulately crafted).

And while I don’t feel called to live in such a community and will probably not have a wedding in a intercity neighborhood one day, I walked away from the service wanting to love Jesus more—in whatever way this means for me.

I want to know a God who moves to draw diverse people together in backyards. I want to know a God who calls people like my friend Sarah to give up most of what they have and live among the poor. And, I want to know a God who brings life partners together for edification of not only one another but the Body of Christ as well.

So, congratulations, Sarah and Dan! May God’s Spirit continue to richly bless you and your community just as your wedding blessed all of us this weekend!