I'm Almost a Bride!

It is starting to feel real now. I'm getting married in about two weeks! Wow!

This week for the first time, Kevin and I began to take deeper breaths and realize that the wedding was actually going to happen and all the little details hanging over our head were going to come together.

Not that we have everything done (by no means), but at least from where I stand today it seems that I can step back a little and realize that this event we've been planning almost a year for is going to occur soon. We are ready to share in the joy with our family and friends!

My co-workers continue to tell me how calm I seem about the whole event. Many of them remind me on a daily basis how many more days it is to the wedding, but I keep finding a way to turn the conversation back to the tasks at hand. With so much more responsibility on my plate now, I have to get organized for work to be gone for over 2 weeks!

But, in many ways, I'm not as calm as I seem. It is a lot to process the idea of getting married. As much as I love Kevin and know I've made the best choice I could in terms of a life partner, it is a scary thing to commit to be tied to someone for the rest of your life!

As I know from even my short 27 years of life thus far: people change, I change, and sometimes when both of these events occur close relationships that once thrived are no more. Yet, marriage commitments are different. It is a solemn vow to be with another person, no matter how you feel or what happens to you in life. As one of my seminary professors once said, getting married is really a crazy thing to do. How do you really know what life will do to the person you marry 20 or 50 years from now?? It is safe to say that many people who have been married for a very long time no longer love their spouses.

However, I am deciding along with Kevin to make this leap of faith because I trust who Kevin is now and what I know of his past. I trust in the person he will become and we will become together-- that no matter what life throws us, we will find a way to be the best for each other. He is the kind of man I would like to have a family with. Not only this, but I believe in the community of support surrounding us. We have some amazing people in our lives who will continue to be there to guide us and help us keep our vows. And, I also believe in God's leading in our lives-- that somehow our joining together means we'll be used for greater purposes than just ourselves.

For these reasons and others, I have chosen to walk down the aisle to the hymn "He Leadth Me" instead of the traditional bridal march. I've tried very hard to be myself through the whole process of the engagement and it seems fitting to walk toward this big step I will take with Kevin to a hymn that means so much to why I'm choosing to get married. God is leading both Kevin and I to this point in our lives.

Thanks to all of you who are getting excited with me about this big day! So, in the spirit of I'm almost a bride, I'd thought I'd conclude this post with the words of "He Leadth Me" for those of you who don't know it. I look forward to seeing all of you who are going to be making the trek to Georgia in two weeks!

1. He leadeth me:  O blessed thought!
O words with heavenly comfort fraught!
Whate'er I do, where'er I be,
still 'tis God's hand that leadeth me.

Refrain:
He leadeth me, he leadeth me,
by his own hand he leadeth me;
his faithful follower I would be,
for by his hand he leadeth me.

2. Sometimes mid scenes of deepest gloom,
sometimes where Eden's bowers bloom,
by waters still, o'er troubled sea,
still 'tis his hand that leadeth me.
(Refrain)

3. Lord, I would place my hand in thine,
nor ever murmur nor repine;
content, whatever lot I see,
since 'tis my God that leadeth me.
(Refrain)

4. And when my task on earth is done,
when by thy grace the victory's won,
e'en death's cold wave I will not flee,
since God through Jordan leadeth me.
(Refrain)